Pointy's plea

Mom, I found this letter yesterday when I was cleaning up. It seems to have been written when I went away for 4 days for the Thanksgiving weekend. I think it speak for itself. For pointy's sake I hope you read it. He seemed upset when I found it.

(A letter from Pointy - my cat - to Marsha - my mom)

"Here I am, alone another few hours, day or more, I'm not sure since I can' tell time or count very well. I do know that I am bored and sick of this crap. Don't get me wrong, Dave is pretty cool most of the time. He is good on the food and water and the liter box. He can sleep like the best of them but I'm just not 'feelin' it any more.

I am writing to you in hopes that I can move in with you.

First thing is that I need to find your address, an envelope and a stamp and mail this to you (I'm can't type on the keyboard since I have paws and no fingers).

I figure with this time while Dave is away I can put a list together that can convince you of letting me move in. These items are not in an order of importance since they are all important! This is urgent - please read them all and write me back at Dave's apartment (make sure it has my name on it if it has secrets in the letter that you don't want him to see, you know how he is).

I told you about Dave and how its not working out any more so I won't get into that.

I love Freehold! I have a shirt ordered from a catalog that has I love freehold on it.
Green carpet is my favorite color carpet.
The parties you have sound much better than Dave's.
I bet you have more windows than he does.
I heard you have a cool neighbor cat I can hang with.
I have always wanted to live in a coltasac.
Since you have seem me last I have learned the following things: Dance moves, Dj'ing(scratchin') and cooking (mostly French).
I can lick your wounds.
When you are making drunk calls/texts I will bite you to stop - if you are home.
I'm a Professional napper.
I can meow with out opening my mouth.
You are prettier than he is, I love the ladies in general so it would work out better for me. Not to mention blonde's, love the blonde's.
I have been working on not peeing or poopin any more, If I can't perfect this I will clean my own litter box.
I can catch mice, bats and small dogs if they run wild in the condo.
I can french braid.
I will laugh at your jokes.
The poplar tree is my favorite tree.
I need to hide out for a bit since I am in a little trouble with a local gang (Crips) and Freehold is a nice peace full town. (Not the main reason I want to move in with you but it much safer for me there).
I am neutered.
You can save money on your heating bill since I will keep you warmer at night while we sleep. You can tell Mr. Gore you are greener now.
No need to buy cat toys as I am adult and have very little need for them these days, I will bring the few I need to keep me entertained.
I don't smoke.
I stopped drinking (so much).
I have a tail.
I sing opera and can rap in little, just not together cause that is stupid.
I will make all the surfaces of your condo softer with my beautiful orange fur.
Did I mention you have a nice smile. :)
I have $15, and I don't need it, its all your's when I move in.
I can't give you the finger.
I'm out of my Pollock painting phase.
3 years ago I saved a veterinarians life so when I go to the vet the bill is $0.
You can have my tickets to Spamalot.
I'll give you my stamp collection.
I'll let you win at cards.
We can play playstation, Wii or whatever games system you have together.
I won't borrow your car and forget to fill it with gas.
I'm not racist or specist.
I'm Jewish - Happy Hanukkah!
I will share my stock tips with you, we can start out own investors club.
You can borrow any of my cd's with out even asking - wow what a deal.
I can return your movies to Blockbuster.


I hope you can open your heart to a friendly cat/pal.
Think about it, no pressure but if you say no my cat heart will be broken.

Pointy"

Bad ass!

look

http://www.youtube.com/Davebotica